One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Blue Fish

Big M will be three years old in exactly one week! We haven't decided what to get her for her birthday (I have a couple of ideas, but they all cost money.) Last year, we got her a fish tank for her room. And not one of those little round open-top bowls, a real giant tank. I believe aquarium is the proper term. Fifty gallons, to be exact. I'm not sure if DM or BigM likes it better, I'd be willing to be the farm on DM, though.

We have quite a few fish in our giant fish tank, and the majority of them are named Dorothy. (For those of you who do have kids, you don't need to know that Elmo's pet fish is named Dorothy. And if you don't have kids I guess I am really flattered that you are reading this blog since it's basically about kids, specifically mine.)

We had the fish for a few weeks (two really little angel fish that grew into really big angel fish, a gaggle of these teeny electric blue and red fish, a smattering of some gray and black catfish-looking guys who hang on the bottom and another catfish who started at 3 inches and is now about 8 inches long- named Gilbert) when DM was gazing at them lovingly with BigM and he said something like, "BigM, the fish are really pretty. I like them a lot. Which one is your favorite?"

She paused and thought for a minute before she replied, "My toys and my shoes." I have to agree with her, in a fishtank full of fish, I like my shoes best, too.

DM and I have an understanding, that all things fish are his responsibility. We just moved the tank here last weekend and I can handle the basics: turn the light on and off and feed them some (not too much!) every few days. I was definitely not prepared for what I found last night when I went to cut off the light.

The angel fish run the playground and they usually race to the top as soon as they see someone stand in front of the tank. I saw the black and white one, but the goldish one was no where to be found. Further investigation led me to the corner of the tank... and there he was, upside-down kind of smushed behind a rock. Then I noticed the food I had dumped in there (not too much!) was kind of sitting there on the top of the water, not whirling around and falling to the bottom like it normally does. And the room was surprisingly quiet. The filter (or maybe it's the pump?) wasn't running and Lord have mercy, I let the fish die.

You can better believe I wasn't about to reach in there, net or not, and pick up a dead fish. But when I got DM on the phone, he had other ideas. (His exact response, "Oh no. What did you do with him?" Me: "I just left him there, I'm not about to pick up..." "GET HIM OUT, GET HIM OUT!") So I put on my big girl panties and tried to flush him, but he was too big and he just sat there letting the water run over him. Right now, he's in the trashcan, buried underneath some other trash. (And no, I didn't take the bag out to the bin last night, I was already in my pajamas.) I got instructions on how to get the pump running again and so far, we've no more casualties in the fish tank.

Every time BigM goes near it, I try and direct her to something else. I'm not ready to explain why her fish has gone missing and DM will be headed to the fish store this weekend for a new Dorothy #7 (yes, we shop for our aquarium at a store dedicated entirely to fish and their needs) , an exact copy of the old one. But if she does notice, I'm definitely telling her that fish is on vacation until we can replace him.