Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

BigM is at the age where everything is fantasy and everything is true. One night last week well after bedtime, she called out (for the thirtieth time), “Mommy, I hafta go potteeeeee…” (again.) Usually she will say this as a last ditch effort to avoid going to sleep, as she knows I will always come up there and let her sit on the potty. Ninety-nine times out of 100, she sits for 14 seconds, slides right off and says, “Oh well, I twied” and be-bops her little self back to her room. Gotta love the kid for trying, as it ensures I will not be changing wet sheets in the middle of the night.

So this particular night, she actually did have to go- and I noticed her nose was bleeding a little bit. My first question was (in a stern motherly voice), “BigM, have you been picking your nose?” Big innocent eyes, “No, Mama.” Earlier that night, she had been running full speed around the house (exhibiting the grace she got from me) and she slipped and hit her head on something. I didn’t see what and DM- (that’s Doctor Mouse, remember?) attended to her boo-boo.

But being a mildly paranoid MM, I immediately began to wonder if she was hemorrhaging from her brain (ok, I did not really think she was, but that kid did get her wild imagination from somewhere…) So I asked her again, “Are you sure you didn’t stick your finger in your nose?” “No, Mama.” I have been reading Stormie OMartian’s Power of a Praying Parent (ooh, my first italics!) and had just read the chapter about protecting your children from lying. Not that this particular lie was the biggest deal in the world, but according to my good friend Stormie,

“People who lie believe that lying will make things better for them. But actually, it does just the opposite. That’s because telling a lie means you have aligned yourself with Satan. Every time you lie, you give Satan a piece of your heart. The more lies you tell, the more you give place in your heart to Satan’s lying spirit, until eventually you can’t stop yourself from lying… In other words, you may think you’re getting something by lying, but all you’re really doing is bringing death into your life. The consequences of telling the truth have to be better than death. Even the punishment you receive from your parents for lying will be far more pleasant than the consequences of lying. For the Bible promises that ‘A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who speaks lies will not escape’ (Proverbs 19:5).”

[Okay, I know, plagiarism is lying, right? I already told you where I got that, I did not write it. It is not my own work. If I remembered how, I’d do a bibliography at the end.] Needless to say, Stormie and I feel pretty strongly about lying so I really felt like I needed to make my feelings clear to BigM.

I summoned the Doctor (you know, Daddy Mouse) just in case he thought she was about to spontaneously combust (sure, he’s a Dentist, but that’s just as good as being a Neurosurgeon in my book, and should be able to diagnose head trauma without the aid of a CAT scan machine or even a stethoscope.) He came up to the bathroom and quickly found the cause of the problem, BigM had, indeed, stuck her finger up her nose.

Which leads us to our current, most favorite past time. In order to help BigM understand what is fiction and what is fact, we play a little game where MM and/or DM say things that she knows are true and things that she knows are lies. For example, “MM is a lady.” Or, “DM is a lady.” (That’s how we trapped her in a confession and taught her about not sticking your finger up your nose at the same time.)

So now, frequently (and by frequently, I mean no fewer than 14 times a day), she says loudly, “Hey! Wet’s pway True-feehs and Uh-lie-zies?” (Yes, she really says that- and as if we’ve just discovered this awesome, brand new way to pass the next 3 minutes.) And when we say something that’s true, she’ll shout, “Yes! Das Truuuue” and when we say something that’s false, she’ll shout, “No! Das a wiiiiie!”

Will it ever be quiet here again? But I’d be lying if I said I wanted it to be…