Help, I Need Some-bunny...

Before we go any further, I need to tell you about our first "children."

DM and I had been married for about 2 months, living in Po-dunk, USA renting a house from a farmer who lived on 800 acres. We knew we didn’t want kids right away and loosely discussed getting some pets but I was working 50 – 60 hours a week and DM was in school full time, studying during his free time. I (logically?) didn’t think it would be fair to any animal (other than a fish, and who wants a goldfish over the age of 7) so I was under the impression we decided together that the timing wasn’t right. DM would mention from time to time that he would like for us to get a pair of rabbits and they could live on our back porch. Fast forward 3 months, we made a trip to the “big city” (which was over an hour away) and one of our errands was to pick up some pantyhose. He agreed to go with me so I said something like, “Since you are being so nice to do this with me, is there anywhere you want me to go with you?” He gets a little boy at Christmas look on his face and says, “We can go get some pet rabbits at the pet store!” (I meant Home Depot, Tractor Supply Company, etc.) My eyes must have about popped out of my head and I said, “We don’t have a rabbit cage or food or anything we need to have pet rabbits, and I thought we said that we didn’t need any pets right away.” His response? “Look in the back.” Yes, mouse followers, there was a rabbit hutch in the back of our SUV. How did I miss that? So he says in a sad little voice, “We don’t have to get the rabbits.” Yeah, right. So we head to the pet store and get 2 dutch bunnies, a black and white one and a gray and white one that we named Black Bunny and Gray Bunny. We’re a very creative family.

BB and GB become permanent residents in our house. (Who needed that stupid hutch anyway?) Did you know bunny pee is neon orange? And if you have a light colored couch, it’s pretty impossible to get out? And they poop little balls in corners and sometimes when they run they leave a poop trail wherever they go? And if you try to trap them in a baby gate, they will chew their way through it and if you put towels over the part they can chew, they will take a running start and jump over it? I did not know any of that, but I do now. Who says you can't learn something new every day?

So BB and GB finally get banished to the back porch in the hutch but DM would let them out to roam on the porch. Here’s where the story gets interesting. (You’re still reading?) If you didn’t shut the screen door exactly in the right way, it would leave a tiny gap. So one night around 11pm, DM comes rushing in the bedroom and says, “Gray Bunny is gone. The screen door was open. We have to find her.” Remember, we live on an 800 acre farm. Our landlord is a huge packrat and he collects broken tractors and old farm equipment, has a few sheds full of (what I would call junk but I’m sure it’s very important) stuff, there is a pack of wild dogs that roam the property and it’s the middle of the night. I forgot to mention that the rabbits don’t like us very much and they run away from us whenever they see us. And I have to be at work in the morning. He makes me get up out of bed (so I’m still wearing my pjs), there is no moon and we have an almost dead single beam flashlight. Oh, and it's January, so it's not exactly sunbathing weather.

I want you to continue to read my blog, so I’m going to stop here for now. (And I'm sure there is a word limit somewhere on here.) I promise I won’t leave you hanging.